


Breathe

by DimTheLights



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon), steven universe future - Fandom
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Binding for too long, Connie is a good girlfriend, Crying, Dysphoria, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, I might be self projecting, Nudity but sfw, Partial nudity but not descriptive, Steven has dysphoria, Steven is having a bit of a day, Takes place before Prickly Pair, Trans Male Character, Trans Steven Universe, unsafe binding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-23
Updated: 2020-01-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:33:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22376509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DimTheLights/pseuds/DimTheLights
Summary: Sometimes, you just need to breathe.
Relationships: Connie Maheswaran & Steven Universe, Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe
Comments: 33
Kudos: 114





	Breathe

**Author's Note:**

> Hiiii, another Trans!Steven fic! 
> 
> Steven is trans and is dysphoric and Connie is also trans but non dysphoric, deal with it. We need heathy dysphoric/non dysphoric trans couples. 
> 
> This also takes place like maybe a week before the events of Prickly Pair. 
> 
> MAP, TERFS, go away this is not for you

After taking the first graduation of Little Home School so hard, Steven decided it’d be for the best to stop running the school all together.

He had made the decision a few months ago and now he was working on a new hobby, gardening. It was relaxing and put his mind completely at ease. 

While tending to the bluebells he had planted, Steven didn’t heard the door to the dome open. He jumped a bit when a hand touched his shoulder but he immediately calmed the moment he saw Connie. 

“Hey Connie.” Steven smiled up at her from his spot on the floor, wiping the dirt from his hands on his apron. 

“Hi Steven, your garden looks really pretty.” Connie said admiring the zinnias to her left. 

“What are you planting now?” Connie looked over Steven’s shoulder to the small little sprout with the tiny blue buds. 

“Bluebells, aren’t they cute?” He gave Connie a goofy grin and she couldn’t help but giggle at him. 

“Yeah, they’re certainly very cute, buuuut I think I can name something even cuter.” She said in a sing song voice.

“Oh really? And what’s that?” Steven gave a small chuckle, leaning his head on her shoulder.

“You~” Connie gave a smug smile and kissed his cheek. “Come on, you look like you could use a break from being in this dome.” 

Steven looked down at his now dirty apron and messy gloves, maybe a break was what he needed, especially a break that meant spending time with Connie. 

Feeling blush creep up on his cheeks he quickly agreed to take a break by quickly trying to take off his apron but fumbling a few times with his gloves, which earned a small giggle from Connie who found it incredibly endearing. 

Feeling his face heat up more he decided to get rid of his gloves first before taking off his apron, which would have been a better place to have started. 

After tangling with his gloves and apron for about a minute he looked back at Connie who was patiently waiting for him with a smile and Steven returned it happily. 

Smiling, they linked hands and walked out of the dome together and headed towards Steven’s room. An unspoken agreement to watch movies and possibly play some video games to relax for a bit. Connie definitely needed a break from college applications and standardized tests, stars only knew how much they both needed this. 

It was eventually Steven who broke the silence, one in his room he left Connie’s side and went to go get a movie. 

“So what did you want to watch?” Steven asked crouching down to his movie collection by his TV. 

“It’s whatever you want.” Connie said while sitting on the bed while removing her shoes then laying down with her head resting in her arms at the foot of the bed. 

Steven smiled and picked out a romance movie about two people in different timelines who shared the same mailbox at some cabin on a lake. While the movie started, Steven took his place by Connie as the title credits began. 

Most of the movie was spent passing glances at each other and Steven trying his best not to cry. He might be an adult now but dang if this movie didn’t get to him. Connie just pushed down a laugh because to her the movie wasn’t even that sad, considering the predictable storyline. 

“You okay?” She asked handing him a tissue from the side of his bed. 

“They just loved each other so much.” Steven said between hiccups and wiping his eyes. “They just wanted to be together, and he wanted to be with her in his time but they didn’t even know each other yet” he took a pause to blow his nose. “And the ending when she thought she was too late to save him but he loved her so much and waited even though he was so close.” 

Connie patted his shoulder in a playfully sympathetic way. Steven eventually calmed down, using one last tissue to clean his face. Steven had seen that movie multiple times and yeah he had cried during it before but never like this, maybe he had so many bottled up emotions. 

Steven quickly pushed down those thoughts when a sharp pain went through his ribs. His breath hitched as the pain spread and Connie took notice when he sat up suddenly. 

“Steven? What’s wrong?” Her face and voice didn’t hide her concern, she sat up with him and placed a hand on his shoulder. 

His face twisted in pain as a constricting weight wrapped around his chest, Steven’s face fell when he realized it was because of his binder. 

“I...I think I might have left my binder on for too long.” Steven tried to let out a small laugh to make the situation seem less serious but all it achieved was making the pain worse. 

Connie’s face was immediately filled with fear and concern, which made Steven feel even worse. 

“Steven! How long have you had your binder on? You know leaving it on for a long time is dangerous.” Her voice sounded so concerned that it wasn’t really helping. 

Steven waved his hand and shrugged off Connie’s hand, “Yeah, yeah I got ear full from my dad last time I did this, I was...just busy with the garden.” He said eyeing the ground, knowing fully well that wasn’t the truth. 

“How long?” the concern in her voice was becoming more frantic 

“Umm,...maybe about fourteen ish hours, give or take.” Steven knew he had been wearing his binder for longer but didn’t really need to hear it right now.

“Steven! You need to take it off right now, you’re going to seriously hurt yourself.” Connie pleaded and placed her hand once again on Steven’s shoulder. She knew he was smarter than this, she knew he could take care of himself and he didn’t need her to take care of him or tell him how to treat his body, but she couldn’t help but be concerned.

“I will...eventually, it’s just...I, I just…” He stammered over his words but Connie waited patiently for him. “It’s...it’s hard to.” He clenched his shirt over his chest and silently hoped the pain would stop or at least go down, but it didn’t, the pain stayed. 

Connie’s shoulders dropped, she understood what he meant, he had talked to her about these problems before, not being able to look in the mirror, shower, or even just exist without feeling horrible. 

“Steven, I...I know it’s hard, but you need to take off your binder or you’re gonna make this problem worse, I know I shouldn’t be lecturing you on this but you need to listen to me.” She moved to face him but he was still looking at the floor.

“I...I want to, I r-really, really want to, but…” he trailed off and looked away from Connie, without even looking at him, she could tell he was silently crying. 

“H-...How do you deal with...with these feelings...why is it...why is it so easy for you?” Steven asked, voice shaking from his crying.

“I don’t really have those feelings, but I know it will get better, didn’t your dad say you could go on testosterone soon?” Connie moved her hand from his shoulder to his back, rubbing small circles which soothed the pain but only slightly. 

“Um, yeah...yeah but we need to find a doctor, and even if we do, it’s not as if I have any legal documents…” Steven let out a dry chuckled and wiped his eyes while leaning into Connie’s touch.

“Okay, I’ll..I’ll take off my binder” He let out a shaky breath, and Connie got up to try and give him some privacy to change but was stopped when a hand grabbed her wrist weakly. 

“Can you...can you stay and help?” His face was burning a bright red, almost close to the same shade as Ruby.

She let out a soft chuckle but understood that it would help him just to have her there for moral support. She knew the help part wasn’t because he didn’t know how to take it off, he was just scared and anxious.

“Sure, just take a deep breath okay?” She took her seat back on the bed and both of them repositioned on the bed so they were facing each other.

Steven took off his shirt hesitantly but placed it aside, his face wasn’t as red but he still felt that his face was hot, he felt a bit more relaxed now that Connie had stayed, he didn’t want to be alone. He took another breath and hesitated to remove his binder. 

He jumped slightly when a hand reached his shoulder and tensed slightly when he made eye contact with Connie. She had a sympathetic look on her face, which also showed concern and a lot of encouragement for Steven. 

“Just breathe, okay?” She got closer and placed her hands on top of Steven’s, “I’ll be right here.” Steven gave her a small smile, took a deep breath, and together they pulled off the article of clothing. 

By all means this was probably too intimate for either of them, but Steven felt better, having Connie there to help him, it wasn’t embarrassing to have her see him without his shirt or binder, it felt comforting to have someone else there with him, to help him through a vulnerable state.

Why couldn’t he have all his problems be solved like this. 

Connie held the clothing in her hands while Steven took a while to breath, she noticed the indents of the binder around his shoulders and ribs, he had definitely had it on for too long. 

Steven let out a last shaky breath before grabbing his shirt and putting it back on, the black fabric felt strange against his chest and the pain had subsided a bit. He finally made eye contact with Connie again and smiled.

She returned the smile moved her hand once again to his shoulder, eyeballing where the indents were and rubbing her thumb over them, trying to sooth him in a way. 

“Feel any better?” She asked in a soft voice, as if speaking too loud would have consequences. 

“A lot better.” He leaned into the touch, mimicking her tone of voice. 

They both settled down to be laying on the bed, facing each other, Connie had her hand on Steven’s side, rubbing circles on the indents near his rib through the shirt. 

They laid like this for a couple minutes, Steven with his eyes closed and Connie focusing on his breathing, eventually he broke the silence. 

“You know you didn’t have to help me right?” His voice sounded hesitant, almost afraid of what he was asking. 

“I know, I didn’t have to treat you like you didn’t know what you were doing, but you’d been wearing that binder for too long.” She gave him an apologetic look as she brought their foreheads together. 

“I know it helped, I know you don’t need me to tell you what to do, I know I don’t need to be your knight in shining armor to rescue you when problems occur,” she placed a small kiss on his cheek. 

“But when something happens, you don’t have to go through it alone, you don’t need to hide, I’ll be here for you and I know you’ll be here for me.” Steven sighed and buried his face in Connies neck while wrapping his free arm around her. It was a bit of an awkward position but it felt familiar.

“I know, I just...don’t want to bother you, or anyone else.” He felt the tears beginning to build at the corner of his eyes, he didn’t try to stop them, but Connie rubbing circles on his back helped a lot. 

“Steven, you’ll never bother me, we’re in this together.” She pulled back to look him in the eyes and wiped away the tears that had spilled, smiling the most sincere and loving smile Steven had ever seen. 

She cupped his cheek and gave him a proper kiss on the lips, just a small peak, Steven smiled softly and placed his hand over hers, they stayed like this for a few more minutes before both of them fell asleep in each other’s arms. 

**Author's Note:**

> Please remember to bind safely! Never bind for more than 8 hours and take it off whenever you start to feel pain, be safe!!
> 
> Do not clown the comments or I will remove and block you :) 
> 
> Lemme know if you want more Trans Steven fics, I have a Lars one in the works so be prepared for that


End file.
